PFf: (dressed in Faust costume) HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!!
Tasuki: Man! I wish I had a scary costume to scare the shit outta those li’l kids!
PFf: You could be a vampire. Then you wouldn’t need the fangs.
Tasuki: Grrr.
Chichiri: Or he could be a werewolf, no da. Then he has the sounds and the fangs.
PFf: True, he isn’t as sophisticated as a vampire should be. At least he won’t have to change his personality.
Tasuki: I can ‘ear you!
Chichiri: Yes but there is a problem with all the hair, no da.
PFf: Aw, that’s easy. We’ll just ask Tai Itsukun to age him a little and he’ll have all the hair he needs!
Tasuki: Har har, very funny!
Chichiri: Or maybe he doesn’t need a costume, no da. He can just go as himself. He’s scary enough already!
PFf: Never coulda said it better, my friend!
Tasuki: WILL YA CUT IT OUT WITH THAT!! I’M NOT THAT SCARY LOOKIN’!!
Door: (ding dong) The wicked witch is dead!
Tasuki: (goes answers door, stands there a few seconds)…PFf! It’s for you!
PFf: Really! Who is it? (goes over) Gasp!
Jack Skellington: Happyy Hallloweeen!
Faust: Guten tag, PFf!
PFf: YAY! You guys came!
Jack: Of course! I’m the Pumpkin King; I have to be out doing my duty on my holiday!
Faust: Eliza and I bumped into him on our way here.
Jack: (whispering to PFf) Is he a new resident of Halloween Town? Usually humans are terrified of me. Am I losing my touch?
PFf: (whispering back) No, I think with him it’ll take a lot to scare him.
Faust: You’re skeletal structure is so interesting. Can I examine you?
PFf: Uh, before you do that, let’s go trick-or-treating!
__-
(walking on street. PFf still in Faust costume, Tasuki a werewolf, chibi-Chichiri (“CANDY, NO DA!!”) as Mickey Mouse, and Jack and Faust as themselves.)
PFf: YAY! This is great! I love trick-or-treating and candy!
Tasuki: (sees some little kids passing by) RAAAAR! (kids run, screaming their heads off, dropping their candy, Tasuki picks it up) I like it too, heh heh.
PFf: Don’t do that to the little kids! That’s mean!
Tasuki: (eating candy) So.
PFf: Bad Dog! (whacks him with magically appearing news paper)
Tasuki: (dog yelp) YIPE!
Chichiri: (in too much of a sugar rush to care if their fighting or not) YAY! CANDY! CANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDY!!!
CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! (NO DA)
Everyone: (sweatdrops)
Faust: Everyone, look.
Everyone: (looks ahead, big, giant, spooky, scary, three story house staring down the road) Oooooo…
House: Whoooooooooooo…
Tasuki: Since when did things have lines?
PFf: Since the door had one. All the props and sets had a protest saying that they want lines too.
Tasuki: Tha’s stupid! Their things! They can’t talk!
Jack: Nothing new to me. There are lots of things in Halloween Town that can talk.
House: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
PFf: O.O I think we better continue the scene.
___-
(everybody walks in giant double doors.)
PFf: It sure is dark.
Tasuki: I can light it up! (pulling out fan)
PFf: Yeah and us with it!
Tasuki: I can aim!
PFf: What are you going to aim at if you can’t see it!
Tasuki: Ya got a point there.
PFf: Chichiri, why don’t you use some magic to help us see?
Chichiri: (eating small Mounds and Almond Joy bars) Sometimes you feel like a nut, da! Sometimes you don’t, no da!
PFf: (sweatdropping) Forget I asked.
Chichiri+Tasuki+PFf: (eerie green light suddenly appears behind them) YAAAAAAAA!!! (Jumps around to see Faust holding Eliza’s skull as an oversoul)
PFf: Good idea, Faust, thanks!
Chichiri: Scary, no da!
Tasuki: Relax, Chichiri. It’s just Faust.
Chichiri: Faust, scary, no da!
Faust: Just so you know, the door behind us is locked.
PFf: Of course it is. In any big, creepy house the door has to mysteriously close.
Chichiri: (sniff sniff) I SMELL COOKIES!!! (runs off somewhere)
Jack: Mr.Chichiri, wait! (runs after him)
PFf: Jack? Chichiri? Great we lost ‘em!
Tasuki: Who knows where Chichiri went off to…
PFf: And Jack coulda helped us out in here.
Faust: Might as well look for them.
____-
(Chichiri runs into kitchen, sees plate of cookies floating in midair)
Chichiri: GASP! COOKIES! (Jumps up and tries to grab them)
Mystery Voice: Do you want the cookies?
Chichiri: YES! Give me the cooooooooooooookiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeees! No da!
Mystery Voice: Well you can’t have the cookies!
Chichiri: (stops jumping and looks up at plate with big-eyed, Puss in Boots look) But I like the cookies, no da.
Mystery Voice: You can only have them if you do as I say.
Chichiri: What d’you want, no da?
Mystery Voice: I want you to dispose of your friends.
Chichiri: I can’t do that! Their my friends, no da!
Mystery Voice: Then you have no use for the cookies! (poof, plate disappears)
Chichiri: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Mystery Voice: (plate reappears) So…will you do it?
Chichiri: I’ll tell you if you give me the cookies, no da.
Mystery Voice: NO! I will not fall for that! Give me your answer, then you’ll have the cookies!
Chichiri: No deal then. (starts to walk away)
Mystery Voice: No! Wait!
Chichiri: Then will you give me the cookies?
Mystery Voice: Hmmm…Grr, fine! Take them! (cookies reappear, Chichiri snatches them and starts munching away)
Jack: (comes in kitchen) Mr. Chiciri, there you are. Where did you get the cookies?
Chichiri: From Mystery Voice Man.
Jack: Really?
Mystery Voice: Jack? Is that you?
Jack: Bob? Is it really you, Bob?
Bob: It really is you! Man, it’s been years! When was the last time I saw you, a year out of high school?
Jack: Yeah, it’s so good to see you! When did you move out of Amtyville?
Bob: Ah, a month ago. The living got smart and weren’t coming any more so I decided to move.
Jack: Still trying to kill residents?
Bob: Yeah, but you’re cool, so don’t worry.
Jack: Well, I gotta take the little one back. Be seeing you!
Bob: Yeah, see ya!
_____-
Tasuki: Man, this place is creepy.
PFf: Too true.
Faust: It reminds me of the family mansion. (green light disappears, everyone looks at skull)
Tasuki: What ‘appened ta the light?
PFf: Where did Eliza go?
Faust: (looks up and to the side, sees something) Eliza!! Wait, My Love!!! (runs off somewhere)
PFf: Faust! Wait!!
Tasuki: Damnit! Where’s he goin’?!
______-
(Faust enters big giant hallway, looking around for Eliza. Behind curtain is Freddy and Jason. Freddy posed as Eliza, just came back.)
Jason: Man, I still can’t believe you did that.
Freddy: A dreamstalker’s gotta do, what a dreamstalker’s gotta do.
Jason: I still say I’m scarier than you!
Freddy: Are not!
Jason: Are too!
Freddy: Well this guy is going to prove which of us is scarier.
Jason: Fine, but I go first.
Freddy: Be my guest.
Faust: (still looking for Eliza) Eliza! Where are you, my dear Eliza?
Jason: (suddenly appearing with machete) Prepare to die!
Faust (passes by him with out noticing him) Eliza!
Jason: Hey, I’m talking to you!
Faust: (finally noticing him) Have you seen my dear Eliza?
Jason: Uh, (lightbulb appears) I chopped her to pieces and you’re next!
Faust: O.O ELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
(breaks down sobbing)
Jason: Finally! (is about to land a finishing blow on Faust until his hand shot out of nowhere and grabbed his neck in a death grip) GG! What the-
Faust: (slowly standing up, giving a harsh, scary glare) You will pay for what you did to Eliza with your flesh!
Jason: Heh, what can do?! GGH!!!
Faust: You will regret crossing me!! I’m going to… (lots of terrible, horrible, disgusting, scary stuff he’s going to do to him)! That’s what I’m going to do, schwein!
Jason: (looking really pale behind the hockey mask) Y-you can’t do that! I-I-I’ve never been stopped!
Faust: (right in his face) Looks like I’m the one to stop you.
Freddy: Guess this is my cue to come in. (turns into Eliza and comes out) My dear, what are you doing to him?
Faust: (turning to him while dropping Jason (Jason: OOF!), hugging him) Eliza, I’m so glad you are not chopped to pieces!
Freddy: Me, too, my love. (holding clawed hand up, ready to strike)
Faust: But frankly I don’t care if you are seriously harmed! (inject something in him with needle)
Freddy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!! IT HURTS! IT BURNS!
Faust: (addressing to real Eliza) I’m glade you are free from that schwein’s clutches.
Eliza: Thank you, my dear Faust.
Jason: Hey! You can’t humiliate us like that!
Freddy: Yeah! We went to all the trouble to prove which one of us is scarier and you do that to us! Unforgivable!
Faust: (giving them a creepy glare) I think only one thing here was proven.
Freddy+Jason: U-uh, (gulp) what?
Faust: (pulling out scalpel and looking scarier than ever) Shall we examine them, Eliza?!
Freddy+Jason: (girly scream) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
_______-
PFf: Hm? I wonder where those girly screams came from.
Tasuki: Who knows in this place.
PFf: What’s with you? You scared?
Tasuki: NO! I’m not scared!
PFf: There’s a girl ghost behind you!!
Tasuki: AAAAGGGGG!!! Where?! Where?!
PFf: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! That was so funny! HAHAHA!
Tasuki: Yeh, yeh, very funny. Look, there’s a monster behind you!
PFf: Nice try, idiot.
Tasuki: Damn!
Phone: Ring Ring! Ring Ring!
Tasuki: Still need ta get used ta the things havin’ lines. (answers it) ‘ello?
Girl Voice: Seven days.
Tasuki: … (turns to PFf) What’s in seven days?
PFf: Ummmm…don’t know.
Tasuki: (back to phone) Uh, nuthin’s in seven days.
Girl Voice: Seven days.
Tasuki: I think ya have the wrong number.
Girl Voice: Seven days.
Tasuki: Yeah, I think ya really have the wrong number, so, bye? (hangs up) That was weird.
PFf: What was?
Tasuki: Some girl called and kept sayin’…
Girl Voice: Seven days.
Tasuki: Yeah, that.
Both: (blink blink) WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! Who said that?!
Girl Voice: SEVEN DAYS!
PFf: (looking around)……MAC!
Tasuki: GAAAAAAH! Don’t do that!
Mac: Yo.
Tasuki: WHOA! Where’d you come from!
PFf: Mac! What’re you doing in this creepy house?
Mac: Why wouldn’t I be?
PFf: True. Well, see ya!
Mac: See ya! (walks off)
Tasuki: Yer friend is so weird.
PFf: That’s why she’s cool!
________-
(Jack and Chichiri walking down long hallway towards door at end)
Jack: This certainly is a long hallway.
Chichiri: Yup.
Both: (keeps walking, door is no closer)
Chichiri: This is taking forever, no da!
Jack: Too true.
Both: (keeps walking, door is still no closer)
Chichiri: (stops) I don’t think we’re getting anywhere.
Jack: Me neither. (looks back) I know we were walking at for least 15 minuets, so why haven’t we moved even three feet from the door?
Chichir: Hm. (runs at the speed of light forward) It Never Ends! (runs back, past Jack, into door) BAM! It ends here! Ow, no da!
Jack: Bob! That you again?
Bob: Zzzzzzzz…Huh! Huh! What?! Oh, oh sorry, Jack. (door instantly in their faces)
Chichiri: That’s convenient, no da.
_________-
(After many hours of walking around the house, the small bands of people finally met up with each other. During that time, the wolfman became a loyal dog, It is just as scared of them as PFf is of him, the Cookie Monster ran out of cookies, Frankenstein’s monster can break dance and his marital problems with his wife are solved, Cujo is a vegetarian, Scream got a job as a telemarketer, Freddy and Jason work at McDonald’s (employees of the week!), the headless horseman lost more body parts, and Dracula doesn’t even want anything to do with PFf. All around…a good night!)
PFf: That was fun! We need to do that again!
Tasuki: Yeah! Ya got scared, though.
PFf: You did too!
Jack: Bob said you could visit him at anytime. Well, I must be going. So much to do, so little time.
Faust: We must be going too.
PFf: Yeah, see ya!
Chichiri: (normal voice, still chibi) That’s weird, when did I get here, no da? Why am I dressed like Mickey Mouse?
Tasuki: Uh oh, I think the candy’s wearin’ off.
Chichiri: Candy? When did I have candy, no da?
PFf: I got something better than candy. (pulling out bottle of Mountain Dew) Ta-dah!
Tasuki: Good one! (holds Chichiri down)
Chichiri: Hey! What’re you doing, no da?!
PFf: Drink up! (forces him to drink it)
Chichiri: (once done) RACE YOU, NO DA!!! (runs off in the speed of light)
Tasuki+PFf: (sweatdrop) What have we done?
---
PFf: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……
Chichiri: I think this chapter took a lot out of her, no da.
Tasuki: Let’s wake her up!
Chichiri: No, no da! Anyway, PFf would like to thank Chichirifan and Mac for some help in this chapter, all horror movies, the play Little Play of Horrors, Halloween (of course!), and a little bit of Over the Hedge (mainly Hammie), no da.
Tasuki: She needs ta learn ta sleep more.
Chichiri: Too true, no da.
PFf: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz…I don’ wanna push the tomato cart…Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……