PFf: (holding Cloud) I feel so bad. I need to put Cloud in the chapters more often.
Tasuki: Why?
PFf: ‘Cause, I had him for a few weeks now and he’s not even in any of the new chapters.
Tasuki: Tha’s not a problem. He’s stayin’ in character.
Chichiri: For once he’s got a point, no da. The real Cloud isn’t all that social, no da.
Tasuki: Yeah, unless he has a chance ta get another funny video on Youtube.
PFf: You guys have a point, Cloud does run away every time someone comes over, so I guess it’s alright.
Tasuki: Course with all th’ friends you have over, I don’ blame ‘im.
PFf: Shut up.

-

3: Reacquainted


PFf: I wonder what the Sanzo party’s doing.
Tasuki: Goin’ west.
PFf: Besides that! Man, I wish they would come back, they didn’t stay very long.
Chichiri: I don’t, no da.
outside: Beep beep!
PFf: Yay!
Hakkai: :) Hey, we decided to come back and hopefully stay longer.
Goku: Hey, dya guys have any food?
Gojyo: Again with the food? What happened to the food from Mac’s house?
Goku: I ate it.
Gojyo: What?!
Goku: I was hungry.
Gojyo: You’re always hungry!
Hakkai: Since their fighting again, let’s have a drink, shall we?
Tasuki: Now yer talkin’ my language!
Hakkai: (pouring sake) :) So I take it you like to drink too, huh?
Tasuki: Hell yeah! I love ta drink!
Hakkai: How interesting. I do too.
Tasuki: Really? See, PFf, I’m not th’ only one!
PFf: Since both of you like to drink, why don’t you guys have a drinking contest?
Chichiri: Oh God, a drinking contest, no da?!
PFf: Why not? It’d be funny! (whispering) Besides, if they do a drinking contest, Tasuki won’t have any liquor left.
Chichiri: Ah. Carry on then, no da.
Gojyo: How well can he hold his liquor?
PFf: I don’t know for sure. All I know is that he’s the heaviest drinker out of all of us. He turned the AA workers into alcoholics.
Sanzo: Moron.
Hakkai: :) Shall we get started then?
Tasuki: Yeah!

(10 bottles later)

Tasuki: ‘ey, ya still doin’ good.
Hakkai: Like wise. :)

(20 bottles later)

Tasuki: Ya gettin’ a buzz yet?
Hakkai: No, you?
Tasuki: A bit.

(30 bottles later)

Tasuki: (slurring) Keep ‘em comin’!
Hakkai: My this is turning out interesting. :)

(40 bottles later)

Hakkai: You look totally smashed. :)
Tasuki: (completely drunk) Ah, shaddup! Why aren’t ya drunk yet? We had…(attempting to count on fingers) …a bajillion!
Hakkai: Actually we only had 100 bottles each. And I just started getting a good buzz going. :)
PFf: Dang, it taked 100 bottles of sake to give Hakkai a buzz!
Chichiri: I never thought that was possible, no da!
Gojyo: I wonder if we’re actually going to see Hakkai drunk.
PFf: No.
Gojyo: Why?
PFf: We’re only down to six bottles. T_T
Chichiri: I’m surprised Tasuki’s lasted this long, no da.
PFf: Not as much for me.
Goku: Why?
PFf: Tasuki’s brain is a rock. And it must be a small rock ‘cause there’s lots of air in hiss head. All in all, if he sets his mind on something, he won’t stop. He’s like a wound up car against a wall.
Tasuki: (singing in background) Fuck you I’m drunk! Fuck you I’m drunk! Pour my drink down the sink I got more in the trunk!
Goku: Man, what an idiot.
Gojyo: Hey, Goku! We found another guy whose brain has no wrinkles either!
Goku: Shut up, cockroach!
Sanzo: Both of you shut up!

(one bottle later)

Tasuki: (passed out) Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Hakkai: :) Aw, I was hoping he would have lasted a little longer. I was just starting to get a little drunk.
Gojyo: Well, I know who to bet for next time there’s a drinking contest.
PFf: You want the rest, Hakkai?
Hakkai: :) No, that’s alright.
PFf: Please, take it. Do us all a favor.
Gojyo: Okay! (takes bottles)
Sanzo: Let’s go.
PFf: See ya! (after they leave) What should we do with the lump?
Chichiri: His drooling will be bad for the table, no da. Let’s take him to his room, no da. (start carrying Tasuki to his room)
Tasuki: I’ll beat ‘im. I’ll beat tha’ damn whatever he is tha’ smiles way too much like he’s in some damn tooth paste commercial!

-

PFf: That was interesting.
Tasuki: (singing again) Fuck you I’m drunk! Fuck you I’m drunk! And I’ll be drunk until th’ next time I’m drunk!
Chichiri: That’s a promise he’s willing to keep, no da.

-

4: Scary


PFf: I had the scariest dream last night. I don’t even like the show it was about.
Chichiri: What was it, no da?
Tasuki: (walking out) I’m outta here.
Chichiri: Why, no da?
Tasuki: ‘Cause, ever since she saw Rocky Horror, her dreams are either really weird or really scary, so, I’m outta here. (walks off)
PFf: …You still wanna know?
Chichiri: Uh, sure, no da.

-

NEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOO…BOOM!

(A destroyed city, some alien, dude, thing…y?, whatever, is beat up on the ground)

Goku: (DBZ Goku, still flying) Ha, another, uh, whatever you are, is down. (looks at watch) AAH! I’m late for my appointment! (flies away)

-

Goku: (charges through door like they do in westerns) I’m here!
Piccolo: ‘Bout time. I almost canceled your appointment. (gestures to the barber’s chair where they wash your hair) Please, sit down.
Goku: (sits down, does long sigh) This is so much better. I should do this more often.
Piccolo: (washing hair) You should. You know what I said about rubble, blood, and whatnot is bad for your hair! And you guys turning into super Saiyans constantly isn’t helping either.
Goku: That’s why we have you, Piccolo, you’re a lifesaver. You have no idea how bad my hair would be without you. People wouldn’t be talking about how cool our moves were; instead they’ll be talking about how awful I look.
Piccolo: You look fine. Now sit under the dryer.
Goku: (sits down) Hey, Vegita.
Vegita: (reading magazine) Hey.
Goku: Whatcha readin’?
Vegita: Check this out. (shows him picture)
Goku: Who is it?
Vegita: Mr. Universe, can you believe it?
Goku: Oh please, even your muscles are bigger than his.
Vegita: What are you saing?!
Goku: I’m just saying he’s a noodle, that’s all!
Vegita: (crying) You hurt my feelings! It’s not my fault my muscles aren’t huge!
Goku: Aww, Vegita, don’t cry. How ‘bout this, after we’re done here, let’s go down to the Starbuck’s and get a mocha latte. How’s that?
Vegita: (sniffsniff) Okay. You’re such a good brother.

(10 minuets later)

Goku: Oh yeah!! At least I don’t have a receding hairline! Huh, Baldy!
Vegita: The nerve! At least I only have one kid that I know of! You seem to have kids popping out of nowhere!
Piccolo: It’s bad for business if they keep fighting like that.
Kirririn: (sweeping hair) What’d you expect! The steroids they take turned their brains into mush.

-

Chichiri: …Okay, no da.
PFf: Weird, right?
Chichiri: You got that right, no da.
PFf: Now I know for sure, DBZ characters’ hair are combustible! Let’s set ‘em on fire!
Tasuki: I’m up with that!
Both: (run out)

-

PFf: Well that’s it! I want to thank Mac and an episode of Saiyuki for the drinking contest, DBZ characters hair for looking like they put tons of flammable hair products in it, and Amber for the DBZ hair salon idea. Thanks!
Chichiri: Did you really have that dream, no da?
PFf: No. I can up with the idea a long time ago.
Tasuki: (still drunk) You guys’re idiots! Ugh, need somethin’ ta drink. Where’s tha’ rubix cube?

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