Chapter twenty-seven: The Bond that can never be broken


(everyone is lounging in the living room)
Door: Blarg Honk!
Caboose: Crunchbite? Is that you?
Mac: No, Caboose, doorbell. (goes to answer the door)
Caboose: I like my name better.
(Mac opens the door to reveal some old guy)
Mac: Mr. Vee? What are you doing here?
Vee: Oye, you got to come to graduation.
Mac: Dude, graduation is in the real world. Here, I’m already out of high school.
Vee: Oye, my time! You got to come graduate! (starts dragging Mac out the door)
Mac: (to others) Aren’t you going to help me?
Jaque: I don’t know how to fight dinosaurs.
Vee: Oye, be nice, jerk! (Drags Mac away, who flicks off the others as they leave)

(graduation)
Principal: And now you will be able to hold your heads high…
Mac: (sleeping with cap over eyes)
Student: (jabs Mac)
Mac: (whispering) What the hell was that for?
Student: You’re supposed to show respect!
Mac: You are a disgrace to seniors everywhere.

(everyone has their diplomas)
Valedictorian: (some ridiculous babbling speech)
(A long rope comes down from the ceiling above Mac)
Mac: What the? (looks up to see Jaque and the others in a hole in the ceiling) Yes! (starts climbing up the rope. James Bond music starts playing) This is why the class of ‘007 kicks ass!
Principal: Stop them!
Vee: Not my problem anymore.
(A few students stand up, pull out hand guns, and start shooting at Mac)
Mac: (flicks off students) Learn how to aim, losers! (a bullet knicks her side) Shit! (starts climbing faster)
(her friends help her onto the roof, where a young Sean Connery in a tuxedo is also there)
Mac: Sean Connery?
Bond: My name is Bond, James Bond.
Mac: Whatever. (She loses the graduation gown and cap, keeping the diploma in hand) Let’s get out of here!
(A helicopter flies over, and they all climb up the rope ladder into it.)

Alarm: Beep Beep Beep!
Mac: (knocks alarm clock off the table) son of a bitch.
Jaque: What’s wrong?
Mac: No more martinis before bed.

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