(Jaque, Jebus, Senri, and the Blue team are sitting in the dining hall heating breakfast)
Jebus: So what are we doing for Mac’s birthday today?
Caboose: We could have a surprise party! Ooh, we could play Pin the Tail on the Donkey and have pony rides! I’ll go get a donkey! (Leave the room before anyone can stop him)
Jaque: Well, I already have my surprise for her. *grin*
Senri: ?
Jaque: *pulls out ring box and opens it, showing a really nice ring*
Tucker: Woa! You’re gonna propose to her?
Church: No, he’s gonna pawn the ring and get her a second-hand stereo.
Griff’s sister: Really? I would think he’d spend the money on something better.
Jaque: *sweat drop* How stupid are you?
(Mac comes in, and Jaque hides the ring box)
Mac: Hello, everyone! Wonderful day, isn’t it?
Jaque: Any day with you is wonderful.
Jebus: I think I’m going to be sick.
Mac: You guys know what day it is, right?
Jaque: Friday.
Mac: *sigh* You people are hopeless. *sits down with a bowl of cereal*
Jebus: Well, I guess we should get ready for our guests today, right Senri?
Senri: *nods*
(They get up and leave the room)
Mac: Guests?
Jaque: The people from Lord of the Rings are coming over today, remember?
Mac: …no.
Jaque: And I have to go make a…doctor’s appointment.
Mac: Why do you need a doctor’s appointment?
Jaque: I, uh, have a bug…*cough*
Mac: That is such bu-
Jaque: Okay, bye. *kisses Mac on the cheek and leaves*
Church: Come on, guys. We need to work on the ship.
(Blue Team leaves)
Mac: *sitting at the table, looking sad*
_-_-_-_-
(Jebus, Senri, and Mac are sitting in the living room)
Doorbell: Hello (hello hello), is there anybody in there?
Jebus: since when did the doorbell play Pink Floyd?
Mac: Since I installed a custom bell, like what PFf’s got.
(Senri opens the door, and Frodo and Legolas enter)
Mac: Hey guys, long time no see!
Frodo: Yep, haven’t seen you since we left on our journey.
Mac: How’s that coming along, anyway?
Legolas: We don’t seem to be making much progress. People keep stopping us and asking for autographs. Some girls kept calling me Orlando…Who’s that?
Jebus: Never mind that. You guys want to play some Galaga?
Mac: Galaga! Yay! ^_^
Frodo and Legolas: *confused*
(four hours later, Mac is kicking Frodo’s butt at Galaga)
Mac: C’mon, man! How do you suck so bad at this game? There’s only two controls!
Frodo: I’m sorry, I’m not used to this magic box thing!
(Jebus sees Jaque tapping on the window, goes outside)
Jebus: what’s up?
Jaque: Dude, the ring got stolen!
Jebus: what? How?
Jaque: Well, I was trying to get a musician to play at the fancy dinner I had planned for Mac’s birthday. I was talking with this one guy, I think his name was Bob Marley, and he wanted to see the engagement ring. So, like an idiot, I let him see it, and he ran off with it!
Jebus: What? Why would Bob Marley steal your engagement ring?
Jaque: I guess he was short on cash or something, I don’t know!
Jebus: Ok, I’m going to completely ignore your lack of knowledge on the subject now. Let’s just go try to track him down and get your ring back.
Jaque: ok.
Jebus: Let me go tell Senri to keep Mac busy while we sort this out.
_-_-_-_-_-
(downtown Animeville, Jaque and Jebus are questioning people)
Jebus: *to two teenage girls* Excuse me, have you seen Bob Marley around here?
Girl 1: Bob Marley? Who’s that?
Girl 2: Doesn’t he, like, go to our school?
Girl 1: Yeah, I think he’s on the football team!
Jebus: I’d threaten to kill myself if I was alive right now.
Jaque: This isn’t working! What am I going to do?
Jebus: just buy another ring. You guys are rich, you can afford it!
Jaque: But I had that ring custom made! There’s no way to replace it!
Jebus: Ok…you’re screwed.
Jaque: Don’t you think I realize that?
Jebus: Why don’t you just get a temporary replacement ring?
Jaque: Hmm, good idea, but where am I going to find one in such short notice?
(guy in a trench coat walks up to them)
Hawker: Hey guys. You wanna see somethin’?
Jebus: I hope you’re wearing pants under there.
Hawker: …Why does everyone say that? *opens coat* Anythin interestin’ ya wanna buy?
Jaque: Got a ring?
Hawker: Uh…*searches pockets* Let’s see…I gotta grenade ring…a key ring…A pirated copy of The Ring…ring of mushrooms…Lord of the Rings…a three ring circus…O-ring…ring of light (needs batteries, though)…Saturn’s rings…aaaaaannnnnd…a nipple ring, slightly used.
Jebus: Ack, the nipple’s still attached!
Hawker: Uh, yeah, you just kinda need to yank that off before you use it.
Jaque: Ugh….You don’t have any engagement rings?
Hawker: Uh, does a toe ring with a diamond on it count?
Jaque: *exchanges look with Jebus* We might just have to go there. How much?
Hawker: seven hundred thousand dollars.
Jaque: What?! For a toe ring?
Jebus: *examining the ring* The diamond’s not even a micrometer in diameter!
Hawker: you don’t know how many graves I had to dig up to find that! It comes with a price! I never stopped scratching for a week after finding that thing!
Jaque/Jebus: O_o
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
(in the front yard of Mac’s house. The Blues are working on their ship. Tucker’s kid is standing near by, drinking from a sippy cup filled with blood.)
Jebus: Hey, guys.
Caboose: Hello!
Tucker: So did you guys find that Bob guy?
Jaque: You guys knew about that?
Church: You guys were out here when you were talking about it, remember?
Jaque: Oh, yeah.
Jebus: We were thinking of getting a stand in ring, and this hawker came up to us and tried to sell us a toe ring.
Griff’s Sister: Hawker? I know him!
Jaque: You do?
Griff’s Sister: Yeah! We were going out for a while.
Jebus: why does that not surprise me?
(Frodo comes out of the house, looking a little miffed)
Jaque: What’s wrong with you?
Frodo: I just can’t take it anymore. Between the torture of playing those games, and hearing her complain about being ignored…it was just too much.
Jaque: *staring at Frodo’s chest*
Frodo: What?
Jaque: Can I borrow that ring?
Frodo: Why?
Jaque: I just need a ring. Let me borrow it for a few hours, and you’ll get it back.
Frodo: I guess…if you promise to give it back when you’re done.
Jaque: Dude, if you let me borrow that, you’re invited to the freakin wedding!
Jebus: If there is one.
Jaque: Thanks for the confidence, jackass.
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
(The roof of a fancy restaurant at night. Everyone is there, including Frodo and Legolas. The only people missing are Mac, PFf, and Blair)
Spike: So you’ve got the police looking for him now?
Jebus: Yeah, I’m still trying to figure out why he would steal an engagement ring, though.
(Blair and PFf lead Mac though the door to the roof. Mac is blindfolded)
Mac: when this blindfold comes off, I better not be in Mexico.
Blair: Take off the blindfold.
Mac: *takes it off* O.O Woah!
Everyone: SURPRISE!!
Mac: Wow! This is…Wow! Holy crap, is that System of a Down on the stage? I thought they were on a hiatus!
Blair: Yup!
PFf: We all got together and decided to surprise you!
Caboose: *Comes over riding a donkey* Happy Birthday!
Mac: I don’t know what to say…*gets teary-eyed*
Caboose: I knew the donkey was a good idea!
Jaque: Hey, Mac. I have a question for you.
(everyone gets quiet)
Mac: Yes?
Jaque: *gets down on one knee and pulls out ring box* Will you marry me? *opens box to reveal a gold ring*
John Dolmayan: *starts a drum roll*
Mac: Yes, I will.
Everyone: Awwwwww.
(Jaque slides the ring on Mac’s finger, and Mac disappears)
Jaque: O.O Mac? Where are you?
Mac: *pulls off ring and reappears* where’d you get this?
Jaque: That guy that was over with the hairy feet.
Frodo: Hey!
Jaque: I’m sorry, the ring I bought got stolen, and this is just temporary. I promise I’ll get the ring back soon!
Mac: *is ignoring him and sliding the ring on and off* Oooooo!
Jebus: I wouldn’t worry too much if I were you.
(The band starts playing “She’s Like Heroin” and the party goes on)
_-_-_-_-
I’d like to thank System of a Down for getting back together for my birthday…ok, that’s not true, but I wish it was. I would also like to thank PFf for writing the hawker’s lines, it was brilliant.