(In the car. Traffic is horrible. Vehicles are honking and foul language is flying.)
Mac: (driving) Can't believe this. Yeah, fuck you too, asswipes! God!! I can't believe I woke up for this! I know where you can stick those Truck Nuts!
Jaque: I'm glas we're not on the motorcycles.
Mac: It's better than threatening people from a Dodge Neon.
Senri: (sticks hand out window and shoots finger)
Mac: I taught you well.
(in the colloseum)
Mac: Seats...seats...Everyone's saving seats for family. We'll never find some!
Jaque: (points) There's three over there!
Mac: Dive! Dive!
(The three launch themselves at the seats, knocking a housewife out of the way)
Housewife: I was going to save those!
Mac: Well, I'm a heartless bitch. Toodles.
(a few rows down)
Woman A: (to an usher) I've been waiting here for an hour for seats and my family and I are going to sit here!
Woman B: We've been here since nine o'clock!
Woman A: You can't save seats! They've been saying you can't save seats!
Usher: I'm sorry, but it's general admission, you can't save any seats.
Woman B: (standing, to her child) Fine, get your shit so this bitch can have her seat! (she and her kid leave)
Woman A: Have a nice day!
Mac: Yes!
Jaque: Ten dollars says the other woman punches her by the end of the graduation.
Mac: You're on.
(lights dim and music starts)
Mac: Look! There's Shelly!
Jaque: Should we scream and carry on like everyone else?
Mac: No, we do that enough in our back yard....(sniff) I remember my graduation.
Jaque: That boring thing that James Bond rescued you from?
Mac: It was so beautiful.
Suma Cum Laude: Let us pray.
Mac: Separation of church and state!
Suma Cum Laude: Shut up and pray!
Announcer: We will now have the presentation of the colors and our anthem.
Jaque: We have an anthem?
Mac: We have a flag?!
(2 hours later)
Announcer: Shelly T. Islandgirl!
(Mac and Jaque shout and clap, while Senri blows and air horn)
Mac: Alright, we saw what we came for, let's go.
Jaque: Freedom!!
(Woman B launches herself at Woman A, starting a cat fight)
Jaque: Ten dollars, please.
end.