(PFf and Chichiri are standing in front of a church. The sign reads “Church of St.”)
Chichiri: Church of Saint what, no da?
PFf: She’s the patron saint of procrastination. All writers swear allegiance to her.
Chichiri: She doesn’t have a name, no da?
PFf: I don’t know, they never got around to putting it on the sign.
Damian: *walks up* So the only church in Animeville is one for writers, is all about procrastination, and has no real name.
PFf: Basically.
Damian: This wedding’s already interesting.
_-_-_-_-
(Mac is standing in a room in a long black and red dress. Claudia and Blair are helping her with make up)
Blair: Aww, your dress is so pretty!
Claudia: At least you didn’t try to get away with wearing white.
Mac: What’s that supposed to mean?
Claudia: Nothing.
PFf: *entering* Mac, I have something for you.
Mac: What?
PFf: Jaque wants to make sure you have this. *hands box to Mac*
Mac: *opens box to find engagement ring* O.O It’s the ring! He found it!
Blair/Claudia: O.O (Blair: Ooooooooooooh!)
Mac: Okay, stop gawking. We have a wedding to do!
Blair/Claudia/PFf: Yes Ma’am! *salute*
_-_-_-_-
(The church. Jaque is standing with his groomsmen: Jebus, Aargon, and Damian)
Aargon: It’s going well.
Jaque: Yeah.
Jebus: I’m surprised. By this time, there’s usually some kind of insanity going on.
_-_-_-_-
(Outside the main doors)
Mac: Come back here Chichiri!
Chichiri: Get away, no da!
Mac: *running with dress hiked up, revealing combat boots* I said get back here! *pounce*
Chichiri: AAAAAAAAAAAAGH! This is no way a lady about to get married should act, no da!
Mac: Shut up and lose the f@$%in mask! *ripps off mask, finds another under it* Damn You! *starts ripping off masks in a blur, finally gets the last one off* There, now you look better.
Chichiri: Nooooooooooo, no da! *turns chibi and starts crying in a corner* T_T
(enter bridesmaids)
Claudia: What’s the hold up?
Mac: My father figure is crying.
PFf: aww, poor Chichiri. *gives him a hug*
Chichiri: *still chibi* Why can’t I have my mask, no da?
Mac: Because you look better without it. I can’t have a serious wedding with someone that looks like he’s on an opium trip giving my away!
PFf: This is a serious wedding? Hey, I told you not to smuggle any more drugs!
Mac: yes this is serious! And I don’t smuggle anything!
PFf: That what you say.
Blair: Come on, guys, let’s just line up.
_-_-_-_-
(in the church)
Trans Siberian Orchestra: *starts playing music*
Senri: *walks down this aisle, dropping little flowers*
Bridesmaids: *walk down the aisle in line*
TSO: *Wedding March*
(everyone looks to the back of the church as Mac walks down the aisle, arm in arm with Chichiri, who finally lost the mask)
Preist: Who gives this bwide away?
Chichiri: Me, her friends, *pulls out long list* and all these other people, no da!
Mac: You got a list?
Chichiti: We took up a petition, no da! ^_^ *takes place with groomsmen*
Priest: *clears throat* Mawaige. Mawaige is wat bwings us togevouw today. Mawaige.
PFf/Blair: *Stifling laughter*
Mac: *smacks PFf*
PFf: What was that for?
Priest: The bwide and gwoom hav chosen to wite thiew own vows.
Jaque: *takes ring from Damian* Mac, ever since I met you, I knew that you were going to have a big impact on my life. I just didn’t realize how big. And after all of the things we’ve been through, I love you even more than I ever imagined. *puts ring on Mac’s finger* I want to be with you forever.
Lani: *sniff* it’s so beautiful!
Mac: Jaque, with all of the insanity in my life, and there’s a lot of it, you are the person who accepted the risks and jumped right into the fray (quite literally). Even when the going got rough, you were still there, still ready to accept the insanity and utter randomness. I have loved you since I first knew you, and I love you so much now. *puts ring on Jaque’s finger* Until the last sunset, I want to be beside you…Scratch that, I want to be with you even after that. *kisses Jaque*
Crowd: Aaaawwwwwwwwwwwww!
Priest: I pwesent Mistew and Misses Jaque de Mowt!
Aargon: I’ll drink to that!
Claudia: I just need a drink.
_-_-_-_-
(The wedding reception. Most of the guests are drunk)
Caboose: Speech!
PFf: *tapping glass with fork* My I have everyone’s attention?
Caboose: Speech! *gets smacked by Church* Ow!
PFf: Uh, yeah. Anyway, I have been asked to give a toast- *toast is thrown at her from guests* AGH! OW! Only white bread, no wheat bread, please! *crowd stops* Okay. Anyways, I would like to talk about the joys of marriage. Since I myself have had plenty of experience in the matter, there is much I can say about it.
Tasuki: Bigatrist *hic*
PFf: *ignores him* First of all there’s the undying faith in your spouse. The knowledge that you know your love will be there to make your day even more enjoyable.
Tasuki: Uh-huh, sure.
PFf: *mumbling* Shut up Tasuki. Anyway. Love is a very wonderful thing. Love is the theme of most fairy tales. It’s always a nice feeling when a couple in love intertwines their lives together to spend the rest of them happily, as one.
Tasuki: Not!
PFf: *smacks him upside the head* Will you shut up, you idiot! I’m trying to make a nice speech and you’re ruining it!
Tasuki: ‘Cause all yer sayin’ isn’t true!
PFf: Alright, here’s the deal. Marriage isn’t all that bad, unless you’re married to an alcoholic.
Mac: Then we have something in common! *hic*
PFf: An idiotic, has a small rock for a brain with plenty of air in his skull, so full of hot air that he can fill a hot air balloon, drunk. Then your life is a living hell.
Tasuki: Here here!
Mac: *raises empty champaigne glass* Go team!
Jaque: This is going to be an interesting wedding night.
(Bunny shaped Peeps bring out wedding cake, which is shaped like a coffin with hearts on the front)
Mac: hey, who ate the bunny’s ear?
PFf: sorry.
Jebus: What’s the other cake?
Mac: The one cake isn’t enough for all the guests.
Jebus: No, I mean what is it?
Mac: Oh, it’s bleedin’ armadillo cake.
Jebus: O.O
_-_-_-_-_-
(Jaque and Mac are leaving. People are throwing crunched up ramen)
Mac: Catch! *throws bouquette, Lani catches it*
Damian: *sweat drop* crap.
(Jaque and mac get into limo and drive off)
Jebus: *waving after them* There they go.
Senri: *nod*
Jebus: Off on their honeymoon...for three weeks...think we’ll survive?
Senri: *shakes head*
Jebus: Yeah, that’s what I thought.